I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
