Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
