Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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