Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Your dad touched me again.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
