you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Don't make out with my wife yet
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dick very happy bro
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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