Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
