your parents love me but you hate me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
