He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
