I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
