highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
