ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We left the knife in your bed.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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