pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
