took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
