is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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