There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
