Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
