No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
