why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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