so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
