I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
