STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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