The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
