She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
