So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
