And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
