She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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