Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
