Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
