Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
