ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
