You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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