Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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