You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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