i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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