i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
