after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
