he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
ok first of all what the fuck
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
