i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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