I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
