PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
