Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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