So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
