Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
