Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
