In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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