Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
