Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
