no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just forgot I was standing up.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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