How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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