I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So apparently I’m into choking now
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