So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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