he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
