My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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