PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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