I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
